Soup
by Yuilhan
Summary: "I mean, look at the way he slurps up his soup […] what an asshole!"; or in which Revali, Princess Zelda's soup, spoons and fine motor skills do not mix well.


**Disclaimer:** I would be a very rich individual if I owned even a fraction of Zelda or Nintendo. Sadly, this is not the case.

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 **Soup**

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 _"I mean, look at the way he slurps up his soup_

 _[…] what an asshole!"_

 _\- Arin Hanson as Princess Zelda, Game Grumps_

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They'd gathered around the large cooking pot for well over two hours now, watching nervously as the Princess dropped ingredient after ingredient into the bubble concoction suspended over the flames.

Occasionally, Daruk's stomach would rumble; the champion would look sheepishly to Link, tucked into the space between he and Mipha while they waited. Not noting the origin of the sound, Princess Zelda cast a glare to the knight who wielded the Master Sword. Then, she would root through her hip pouch for another ingredient- the first she could put her hand on in fact, and would slat it rather vindictively to the gross mixture she had created.

 _Whoever thought to let Zelda loose with a soup ladle is unhinged,_ Link thought; though of course he said nothing of this.

The Princess hummed happily and ladled each of the Champions a steaming bowl of... _well_ , Link thought, _that was once soup._

He wasn't sure what it was now, however.

Mipha, ever the gentle hearted Zora, took the first sip. Zelda watched with bated breath as the Zora Champion finally managed to swallow the spoonful of dubious-looking liquid with minimal gagging.

"It's an... interesting texture," she told them softly, just as a shard of opal rose to the surface of Daruk's portion with a loud, wet, popping noise.

"I'm..." the Princess began, knowing that her irritation about Link's roll in her plans had led her to spoil their meal. It was incredibly annoying that she had not yet gained recognition for her preparations against the Calamity Ganon, along with her assurance with the Divine Beasts, Guardians, Shrines and ancient technology. How could someone- while yes, trained and appointed to guard her since birth, just strong arm his way in on everything she had worked for?

Link took a deep breath and an even deeper mouthful of soup. He keened softly, but managed to swallow it all, giving the Princess a thumbs up and a shaky nod as he set his bowl down far, far away from himself.

Zelda wilted, with a tired laugh; "I'm sorry everyone."

Mipha and Urbosa converged on the Princess, patting and cooing over how she would perfect her culinary skills while they travelled between the Springs of Power, Courage and Wisdom. Link heartily agreed, because he didn't like the noises his stomach was currently making, and couldn't, not for the foreseeable future, force himself to fancy facing this every night.

Urbosa and Daruk glances at one another, and took their own sips of soup. They grimaced, respectively, and winced somewhat around the sharp edges of precious stone Zelda had lobbed in to her cooking pot, but held down the soup.

All eyes now turned to Revali, the Rito Champion.

"Aren't you going to try it," Urbosa rounded on him, crossing her toned arms across her chest. Her extravagant armour and jewellery jingled with the motion.

"We Rito are superior aviators. We are unrivalled in our archery skill, and our taste for poultry is widely known," Revali droned verbosely, and Link nearly snorted. The former had told the latter _all_ about his supposed superiority during the time Zelda had been checking over Vah Medoh, and Revali took every opportunity to snub Link henceforth.

"Get on with it," Urbosa drawled, drawing a spoon through her soup and blowing over the bowl to cool it.

"Yes, well," Revali huffed, "We do many of these things and more, but we _do not_ merely _sup_ soup."

"Why ever not?" Mipha inquired. "My mother used to make delicious sea food gumbo with what we could gather locally, though occasionally someone would bring a selection of poultry or prime meat to Zora's Domain."

"Yes, well," Revali shuffled uncomfortably, his feathers ruffling. "That's Zora's for you. We Rito prefer _solid_ food."

Having known Mipha since he was a small child, Link felt slightly affronted on her behalf- and what exactly was wrong with soups and stews?

 _What an arsehole_ , Link thought irritably. Urbosa had corned Revali again, holding up a steaming spoon of soup for the Champion to try. His feathered appendage batted it away.

"I am perfectly capable of feeding myself, Urbosa," Revali sneered.

Daruk, placing his bowl down, crossed his arms across his rotund figure and tugged with one hand contemplatively on the end of his beard.

"Prove it," the Goron Champion challenged.

"I don't see why I-" Revali squawked as Urbosa dove to shove a new spoonful of soup down his gullet. "If you could restrain yourself, Urbosa-"

"I get it," the Gerudo Champion smiled languidly and rolled her eyes. "Underneath all of the preening, you're just a plain old _chicken_."

"Chicken!" Revali cawed indignantly. "I'll show _you_ chicken."

During this, Link had been pondering on what attributes had led him to believe that Revali was an arsehole. He had come to the conclusion that most things about Revali irritated him, and supposed it was the same for the Rito Champion. The list was continuing to grow, however...

Revali grasped his spoon woodenly between the tips of his feathers. He struggled to maintain his grip, and the spoon plummeted into the still steaming, dubious concoction, splashing it across his breast feathers.

Mipha barely restrained her giggle.

Urbosa did not show such reservation.

"No fine motor skills, huh?" She drawled. She plucked the fallen spoon from where it had landed and twirled in between her finger tips.

Revali clucked his beak, lowered his head and tipped the bowl to angle the liquid. Then he submerged his beak, clicking it together messily and sloshing the soup over them all while he slipped and tried to direct it fruitlessly into his mouth.

The remaining Champions, Princess Zelda and Link watched on with morbid fascination as the majority of Zelda's soup that had been portioned out to Revali ended up everywhere bar in Revali's stomach.

A hefty splash of soup splattered across Links nose and into his fringe, disrupting him from his musings.

 _... what an arsehole,_ He thought, bristling as he felt the soup drip from his hair onto the bridge of his nose. _I mean, just look at the way he slurps his soup!_

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 **Musical Inspiration**

"Master Kohga Battle" - Manaka Kataoka and Yasuaki Iwata, 'The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild – Soundtrack'

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 **This idea has been bothering me ever since I started playing BotW; especially since I took out Vah Medoh first. It makes me chuckle every time to picture Revali struggling and being humbled somewhat, though he and Urbosa are tied as my favourite Champions. I've also been all nostalgic and watching Game Grump's playthrough of 'Ocarina of Time' again, as you can probably tell from the quote at the start.**

 **Let me know what you think! Reviews and PM's are welcome~!**


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